By EdB
"He's gone! The one I'm never tired of. No cure for my broken heart. The rose has lost its petals, but the thorn is left behind."
∼ RUMI, 13th century sage ∼
These days the divorce rate is incredibly high; a lot of us are left with a broken heart. A lot of us, too, have a hard time letting go of the past and moving on. Disappointed we search, grasping at self help books, filling our minds with new theories, new methods and new ways of learning to stand alone. It is very hard to let go of the past, especially if you have been let down and your ego is bruised, your self esteem is at an all time low and your motivation is shot. What then, are we to do without the strength to move forward.
Angry and disappointed we are prone to depression, and lose our way even more. Some of us try it alone, claiming that we don't need anybody and shutting ourselves off to the love and affection from our friends and family. Some of us dive into food, alcohol and drugs, numbing our hearts and closing the gates to our soul.
What are we supposed to do?
Personally it is my spirituality that always brings me back to reality, gives me the strength to move on, and and helps to put balance in my life. I meditate, leaning into the moment, learning to accept truth, as it is presented, hoping to glean the hidden lessons. Nutrition is also a big factor. But, the biggest and foremost factor involved is a serious commitment to self, and an enormous amount of discipline.
"Renunciation is not 'getting rid of the things in this world', but accepting that they pass away."
∼ Aitken Roshi ∼
STEPPING STONES
There are steps on this road to recovery. The first would be awareness; to comprehend that we can not control each other or situations, and recognize the potential for spiritual growth in each painful situation. By accepting that things are as they are, we can develop discipline, patience and our threshold for tolerance. In this transformation we will change our attitude and will arrive at a higher level thinking. When using our higher level faculties we begin to realize the clinging pattern. We are clinging to our negativity and fears, which is useless, destructive, ego based behavior>>>it is self pity. If we can recognize this truth, we will realize that change has to take place.
At this point we will recognize that we are not our feelings, though we cling to them, and realize that we are 'capable' of change. Visualization is a good place to start. Imagine holding the negative emotions in your hands and imagine squeezing them out, releasing them, letting them go.
THERE'S MORE...
But there's more to letting go than recognition and validation of "what is" and visualization of letting the pain subside and vanish. The discipline lies in moving on from this point. Continual positive thinking is important in moving 4ward. We can start by using affirmations. Personally I use affirmations that are directly connected to the chakras.
Sometimes when my heart is full, I focus on the (4th) heart chakra, where our "right to love" exists>>>I am worthy of love. I am loving to myself and others. There is an infinity supply of love. I live in balance with others.....The color green is associated with the heart center, and i even go as far as wearing something green to strengthen this area.
Other days I focus on my intuition, which is located at the third eye center, the 6th chakra, which is where "the right to see" dwells.>>>I see al things in clarity. I am open to the wisdom within. I can manifest my vision.... Light indigo is the color associated with this area.
So, doing your affirmations also lies in the acknowlegment of the interdependence of all things with the divine, and becoming cognizant of the energies that surround you. Honor yourself and you'll move in the right direction.
"The promises of this world are for the most part vain phantoms; and to confide in one's self, and become something of worth and value is the best and safest course."
∼ Michael Angelo ∼
Here are three affirmations to use daily to move forward: 1) I honor myself therefor I will take care of my body as best I can, I will nourish it properly and not abuse it or allow it to be abused. 2) I honor myself therefor I will take care of the spirit that rises with me as best I can. I will nourish it properly and not abuse and or allow it to be abused. 3) I honor myself therefor I will take care of the soul that resides inside my body as best I can. I will nourish it properly, and not abuse it or allow it to be abused.
We want to be able to meet life's challenges, to be role models for our peers and children, committed to leading a productive life, contributing to the whole. I am reminded often of the "four agreements" that has been developed by the Toltec wisdom, and has been passed down to us by Don Miguel Ruiz, in his book of the same title. These agreements are easy to remember, and when put into practice, will certainly bring us to a beautiful plateau.
The four agreements are: 1) Speak only the the truth. 2) Don't take anything personally. 3) Do not assume. 4) Always do your best.
There is so much diverse wisdom from which to choose at this moment in time. We are blessed, to live in a time where it is more acceptable to "find your own way" and where there is a vast wealth of spiritual information from which to draw that which speaks loudest in your heart.
Another example of simple rules to live by, and make your own, is the 5 aspects of Buddhism for instance.
- All I have are my actions.
- Develop a fearless compassion for suffering, including your own.
- Nothing is permanent.
- There's no escape from illness and death.
- Find refuge within; through mindfulness of thought, sensation and and attachment.
"Who has not sat, afraid, before his own heart's curtain?"
∼Rainer Maria Rilke ∼
SELF2SELF
Your dedication to yourself is what will make all the difference. Diligent creation of positive thinking will move you to a different place, where suddenly more awake and aware, you will find yourself free from holding back and able to fully "feel".
Our journey is to know our 'self '. We can move to a place where we can look at ourselves without submission to false beliefs, without masks that block our connexions to our perfect essence. Here we will find forgiveness for those that hurt us and also for ourselves. We will see that at the center we are a luminous essence, capable of love and compassion.
If we can stay true to our personal journey, we will not abandon 'self ' by compromising our integrity or discount our intuition. We have to remain contact with our essence and not grow to fear it. We must stay loyal to our journey, and not disguise who we really are, keeping our essence pure. By letting go and moving on we will not get invested in negativity nor yield to false beliefs, which puts limits on the free flow of energy in our bodies.
Remind yourself that everything is energy; surrender to it, let it take you, stay open to feeling everything, open and unafraid. Taking a leap of faith into the unknown will reveal your true self. It will enable you to truly stay in the moment and let go of all that is holding you down.
"Almost always it is the fear of being ourselves that brings us to the mirror."
∼Antonio Porchia, italian poet 1885 - 1968 ∼
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